So, you made your first steps into sorcery, contacted some discarnate beings, and performed cool rituals from those grimoires you bought online.
The objects of your desire manifest in your reality and become available. Strange occurrences and synchronicities happen when you least expect them.
Opportunities to advance your mundane affairs and small trials of character are coming your way.
Your mood and self-confidence got a little boost, but it’s kind of confusing, almost too easy to believe.
Congratulations, your first trial started. Can you embrace fear?
Your mind is clouded, lacking focus and discipline. It is full of ideas that are not yours; your perception of reality is limited to the filters that keep the herd ignorant and obedient.
You want an explanation, need an answer, something to hold on to that would make sense of it all.
You throw yourself at the feet of Lucifer, Lilith, Satan, and the others.
After all, those benefits had to come from divine grace.
Or maybe you think it's all your creation, doesn't matter.
You are nothing more than an ignorant monotheistic, brainwashed cattle playing with reality.
Maybe you worship them as if they are Jesus, a Meri, or Jehovah, giving them your blood and semen, lighting incense for their status on the altar, and making prayers in their names.
Maybe it's all a trick to convince your mind to cooperate? Still doesn't matter.
Lucifer is not your savior, Lilith is not your mother, and Satan doesn’t need or want your feeble soul. It is about something else altogether.
Is it reality creation out of your own subconscious, with power to shift your reality?
You should know that they open the door because you are willing to make a step out of your ordinary life, that is all for now. All those gifts from the nightside are to encourage, entice, and support you to become more than the cattle you are keeping yourself to be.
But you are facing something every beginner faces, and there is deep, horrible fear.
It isn’t the night you are afraid of, nor is it punishment, visions of horrors, or anything else your mind may throw at you.
You are afraid of the unknown, the uncertainty of it all.
You have been told that the world is predictable, and that certain behaviors are safe while others are not.
It is just like moving abroad for the first time, quitting your job when the market is low, and losing all your belongings while touring a foreign country.
Chaos rushes in and uncertainty creeps in, all those questions, and with that, the fear that something real is happening, and that there are consequences to taking your own power.
But it’s worse, much worse, as this fear of the unknown doesn’t stop with settling into the new home, finding a new job, or getting your shit back together.
It is always there, the fear of losing your way, to face something that you can't take on.
It goes on and on, triggering something in you, a psychological protection mechanism, a survival mechanism protecting your indoctrinated patter, those that keep you subdued and powerless.
Your first trial is not to deny fear.
Can you be brutally honest? Can you accept uncertainty as a fundamental principle of reality? Can you embrace fear?
Can you allow yourself to feel it, to let it rush through without submitting to it?
It may take time but eventually you will understand why people stay in their own predictable patterns and loops.
After a while, you got into the rhythm of your rituals and practices, went through some turmoil, and settled back into a new routine.
Then it happens.
Your Ego is creeping its way back into your mind, attempting to take back the helm.
It claims that here it is: you have taken the step into a new identity, but that is far from the truth, and impostor syndrome is surfacing. Are you just faking it to be cool or to be better than others? Is it all just a pretence?
If the rising of subconscious fears and stories of nightly horrors that fill your dreams failed to deter you from the path, vanity and fake humility will stop you from evolving any further.
It is the effect of that fear, the ego is trying to take hold in a different way now, to agree that you have done it, and now, as you make your practice, responsibility, and authority are already yours.
Yet, those powerful experiences in the temple are all but a glimpse into a reality of forces far beyond your scope to comprehend.
A reality that will become your waking life, your daily meetings and encounters, your new destiny.
The current banality of getting what you want through rituals and demonic pacts is a weapon the ego uses to inflate your mind, but it is only the ego cooperating for now, the fear of not knowing whether it’s luck, coincidence, or a real shift in the power balance between you and the old patterns.
For a long time, you will be flirting with the idea that those forces exist outside of your psyche, and then that those forces are your own psyche.
Whatever you choose will direct your path, because there are forces in this reality beyond the limited scope of your persona, ego, and even psyche, beyond you.
But your ego wants certainty; it wants to claim it all for itself, to rid itself of the fear and doubt about your ability to truly influence the course of your life.
You must first embrace it, learn to hold it, and even use it. To see it as a sensation, a phantom of an old survival mechanism that serves old functions.
Eventually, you will swing between telling yourself in full vanity that it is the power of you, a divine right you have as a human to hold power and command demons, and the fake humility when facing those forces in the temple that you are their servant.
Only brutal honesty will make you realize the limited capacity of your imagination and your limited ability to manifest such things as you desire by yourself.
It is not your blood, semen, soul, or incense that those forces are they are after; it is your totality in the process of maturation.
Your ego will claim that it is all you, fearing the bigger truth of being faced with forces beyond your comprehension, you will, for some time, adopt the ‘it's all in my mind,’ or is it just your subconscious doing?
In any case, you became so convinced of your superiority over others that, in reality, you live in fear; it has gotten the better of you, and the Ego is in control now.
In any case, you must not indulge it; you must accept fear of the unknown and that it will come with you for a while longer. Acknowledge it as a necessary sensation, strip it from any meaning, share it with the spirits, howl into the night, and let them know you have no shame about it.
Embrace your fear with brutal honesty.
Reclaim it and deplete the Ego from its source of power and vanity, and release your mind from the shackles of fear.
Having successfully embraced your fear, the second trial begins.
Comments